"Delta Sky Magazine" Features Chickens

My father and I celebrate our Chicken Victory I took a quick trip this past weekend. Imagine my surprise when I opened the August addition of the Delta Sky Magazine on the plane. I know, you're imagining... "wow, they still have a magazine and they don't charge you for it?" Yes, it's true AND on page 36 is an article about FANCY CHICKENS! Really, I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

They mention Polish Chickens (like my Chloe) and say "a mop of brown, black and white feathers that Rod Stewart in his prime or Tina Turner in her prime would have killed for". Regarding a Silkie (remember my Natasha who was eaten by the hawk? She was a Blue Silkie) they describe a white version as "a veritable puffball of white feathers, his eyes all but hidden by the powder puff of a crown that looks as if it leapt straight off the makeup table of a 1040's Hollywood starlet, his feet enveloped in white like showshoes in the winter".

Yahoo. Entertainment in the sky - and I got free peanut butter crackers and a drink too!

Chicken Victory Party

Dad got a little carried away by the victory...

While I was celebrating with my NEW FAVORITE COUSINSSome became confused, "Now, why DID the chicken cross the road???"

Others asked the age old question, "Who are the Weinsteins anyway?......"

Why DID the Chicken Cross the Road???

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other
side.

PLATO: For the greater good.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

JACK NICHOLSON: 'cause it f___ing wanted to. That's the f___ing reason.

RONALD REAGAN: I forget.

KATHERINE ALVAREZ: To get away from my neighbor.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

JOHN McCAIN: The chicken was a maverick, just like me. She did it for the greater good because she was serving the people, just like me. Sarah Palin crossed the road too...

SARAH PALIN: She did it for her family.

HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives being called into question.

MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which
will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.

OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the
road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally
selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road .. it transcended it.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

ARTHUR ANDERSEN CONSULTANT: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM),
Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.

NPR and the Sewanee Police

I was interviewed by Nashville Public Radio again last week. This time the chickens were interviewed also. I was told the interview will broadcast this Tuesday morning and maybe afternoon. I bet they run the part where I claim I suspect the Community Council ruled in my favor after my threat to move to the beach. We shall soon see...

In more important Sewanee news ... I failed to report that last week's Community Council meeting ended with a standing ovation to former police Chief Jim Parrott who retired this summer. Chief Parrott, who has been an outstanding leader of a police force that takes the motto "serve and protect" seriously, has retired from police service but will remain on campus as a head resident of one of our dorms.

On my walk this evening I watched a patrol car wander in and out of parking lots - just checking things out and making themselves known. They waved at me as they drove by. Yes, they know me, but they'd have waved at anyone because they're good people and here for the right reasons. It's been like this my entire life. We're very lucky.